This is definitely a very uncharacteristic post for me to make nowadays but worth talking about. Worth seeing the side that I don’t talk about much anymore.
I had a busy weekend. Busier than normal for me. Yesterday I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends. Not too badly overstimulating. But afterwards we went to a hockey game. Our team won, but we sat in a section where the horns go off after every goal and my hearing doesn’t take that very well.
Today, my boyfriend and I did our normal routine of going to church in the morning. The only downfall was the music was too loud.
Yesterday, my boyfriend had talked about getting his beard trimmed so we went and did that, as well as got him a haircut, right after church.
After that we got some subway and went back to my parents so I could get ready for hockey.
Now here’s the part that is unusual for me.
I’m a HUGE hockey person. Especially when it comes to playing.
When I first started my practice today, I was doing alright. No problems. The longer practice went on, the worse my autism got. We were just over halfway through, and it felt like I was in a fishbowl. I couldn’t snap out of it.
My boyfriend had me come off the ice and I ended up having a meltdown. One bad enough for me to want to leave early from practice and that isn’t like me.
I’m fortunate I play for a team for those with disabilities though. Its nice to be around those who at least have an understanding and don’t make you feel less.
It definitely is different to say I wasn’t me during practice. I haven’t been like that in a while. Let alone had a meltdown during practice. But I am relearning how far to push my limits, since it has been a while that I’ve been this bad.
Every meltdown is always a learning experience. At least for me it is. Something until recently I never realized.