Autism and mental health

As I sit here thinking while watching a hockey game, I realized something and it’s a pretty important topic.

Mental health. Anyone who struggles with mental health knows there’s quite a stigma behind it. And one thing I’ve learned as someone who’s autistic it’s even harder to deal with the stigma.

I say this because something I learned the last few months is that people always say they are there for you if you want to talk. But when you do they barely listen and their vibe towards you changes and you can tell they don’t actually want to deal with you.

Some people have an easy time having a support system full of people who actually help them and care and I am glad that they have that. Don’t get me wrong I’m not here to knock support systems, they are a great thing to have. But one common topic in autistic groups I’m in is parents or people who are autistic tend to say is the stigma with breaking mental health barriers is harder for an autistic individual.

Let me explain. Someone who is neurotypical, “normal,” has no problem getting support systems. As an autistic individual, and someone who struggles with social cues already, when I mention anything about now knowing if I have a support system for this, people will reach out and say they are there for me. But, when I do, I almost feel like a burden to them for taking up that offer and in those moments I don’t know what I personally did wrong.

But the one common thing in these groups I’m in always say is the double standard for autistics versus non-autistics is insane and this is one example. I genuinely don’t have friends outside of my hockey team anymore because of this and I feel like no one can tell me what I’ve done wrong.

Unfortunately my brain is wired for black and white thinking, so the grey area that others have, meaning the level of how a person can tell how much to share and not share in this case, doesn’t exist. Basically, my brain goes from one extreme to another and I have a hard time managing the in between without any help on what to fix.

If I don’t know I do something wrong, I will keep doing it because that’s how my brain works. And I can’t work on fixing something if others don’t tell me what I am doing they don’t like.

Maybe one day things change but I have serious doubts at this point. Hopefully things change.