For those who are new here or those who have followed for a while but haven’t heard much on this topic, let me introduce myself.

My name is Emily and I living life on the autism spectrum.

How autism affects me is different than how it affects men. I deal with masking on a level most people would never know I have it.

For those who don’t know, masking is where I hide my symptoms to appear “normal” to the rest of society.

Autism for me is something that has been more tolerable the last few years for me than it used to be. I still struggle with a meltdown here and there. I still get overwhelmed. I still have things that allow me to be me in a safe environment.

What that all means is I’m wired in a way that things most people take for granted are things that cause me issues.

For example, the last few weeks I’ve had to wear a mask while at work. Unfortunately for me, I have sensory issues with things being on my face and head and wearing a mask makes it hard. I’m always wanting to pull it off or pick at it, which unfortunately is a health and safety issue.

Another example is certain noises tend to irritate my ears more than others. An example of this is ceramic dishes clanging together causes me to feel like someone is drilling into my teeth with no medication. Or when someone is trying to hit a spoon on the edge of a dish to hard it irritates my hearing too.

Some days I am tolerable of what goes on and others are a bit of a downfall.

Spontaneity is usually hard for me to handle and overwhelms me greatly to the extent of a meltdown. My brain just can’t handle plan changes very well.

Some days I have trouble with what’s called dsypraxia which is basically a fancy term for clumsiness/loss of motor control. Some days I have a hard time holding onto things. Other days I’m unable to make it past the corner of a counter.

But the biggest problem for me is unpredictability, as with anyone who has autism. Those on the spectrum prefer to have a routine that they can go by every day to help them get by and ease their anxiety.

With this covid situation, it’s been hard for me because so many things are left unknown in a time I wish I could plan.

How long will my job be in lockdown?

How long will I have to wear a mask?

When will my department go back to normalcy?

Questions not even my coworkers can answer because we are all left in the dark.

I hope this gives a lite insight to how my brain kinda works. If there are any questions please feel free to ask and I will answer the best I can!

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